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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Since I've started work, I've had understandably less time online for my friends. Of course, we turn to emailing to keep each other updated on our lives and also, to keep ourselves entertained.
Once in awhile, I get really good ones. Today is one of those days, with correspondences with a Ms. Justina Teo.

Email #1

Dear Ms. Hong,

Your breakfast menu provided by your organization looks sumptuous to me. In an Asian country like Singapore, chao beehoon is our staple for breakfast, if not some rice cake called chee gui. And unfortunately for me, I never knew how to freeze a loaf of bread… so I have better to finish both loaves BY TOMORROW… I bet you have unlimited flow of coffee like a buffet, because I am particular when it comes to coffee or KOPI as how we call it here, I bring my self-imported Vietnam coffee and am their spokesperson in the office already.

Yea my place is lacking of seating space too. Today’s my 2^nd day in my new cubicle. It’s still at a corner, but the demographics are different I think you know wad I mean? Ironically, it helped me focus real hard and I am productive. But I think it’s dusty here cos my rhinitis is acting up!

When I get my name card I’d send it to you, and you better send me back yours! Yaa Dark Knight sounds promising.. My sis is such a harsh critic but she also say nice. So I think I’d watch.. but wait for the crowd to ease on the cinemas first. Anyway.. not in a condescending way, but who do you watch with? Your cols ok or not? The after work go out tgr kind?! I have one col I can click la.. we go gym together. But she’s leaving and her replacement’s in liao, and cos of lack of space she sits out in the open, so kelian.. but not for long laa….

Alrighty.. Kopi beckons.. gonna go PAO!

With Warmest Regards,

Justina Teo (Ms) :: Befriender Executive, Communications :: Communications & Partnerships Department ::

Reply #2

Dear Ms. Teo,

Your observant eye has definitely caught on that our breakfast menu is indeed ‘scrumptious’, like how you acutely pointed out. Other than the usual sausage links, bacon, scrambled eggs, eggs-to-order, waffles, pancakes, oatmeal etc on the list, I am pleased to say that we also offer lunch and dinner selections that are more-often-that-not may do I dare say, delightful. Korean ribs on one day, chicken parmesan the next. On a lucky day, we get curly fries and Haagen Dasz ice cream. And don’t forget the uncle on the grill who grumbles about your order of chicken quesadilla but fires it up anyway. But I also assure you that the buffet is also mainly responsible for my ever expanding waistline and over-spilling gut. You see, it is not cool when the pants you bought in December can no longer contain your muffin-top. Granted that it was already slightly tight when I bought it (with the hopes of losing weight, of course – back then I already know that I will be extremely motivated to lose weight, of course. But it turned out to be a huge oversight on my part. OBVIOUSLY) …I hope to convince you that it is a very unattractive sight to bear. Especially when your shirts continue to shrink in the dryer and soon the day will come when I have to reintroduce my shirt to my pants because hey, they have not met yet. I am certainly looking forward to the day, like I have been very patiently for the past 20 years, to the day when I can live without worrying about whether the next ounce of air I breathe in will make me gain 10 pounds.

Despite my grouses on the love and hate relationship I have with the buffet, I can assure you however, that I am enjoying my time in my organization, which other than an extensive meal menu, also offers other exceptional benefits as well. Of them, I shall highlight a few:

- On-site playschool for kids whose parents are part of the team. Team members can leave their children there while they are at work, knowing that the tods are safe and being productive and not how do you say that, ba-long-longing at home. The good thing is its an awesome concept that I applaud… the bad thing is, there is a 5 year wait list so I think I can start to put down the name of my unborn, unnamed child so by the time s/he pops, I won’t be fretting over where to place s/he while I’m at work because I should still be working judging by my spending habits and lack of earning power. On 2^nd thought, scratch that. Marry rich and that will never become an issue. Now, aren’t I Miss Optimistic?

- Free employee parking in the garage that is located just about 1 mile away and requires advanced braking skills and superior gas mileage since it is a 16 storey garage with yours truly only managing a 12^th floor spot EVERY morning despite getting in 30 mins early (to take advantage of the buffet of course)

- Free entertainment in seeing cocktail waitresses in their corsets grabbing their free meals in the cafeteria. How they are able to balance their ginormous boobs within their petite frame…that takes a physics professor to analyze. Also, how they can even EAT when their uniform looks so frigging uncomfortable escapes me too.

- Contracted dry cleaning that is fast and reasonably priced and most importantly provides easy drop off/pick-up (only downstairs at Team Member Concierge) so I can afford to send my blazers in once a month and not let the stains and smells render me unapproachable and if I keep it up, ‘homeless’.

- Honest and on-the-ball team members (i.e. staff) who turn in the items you misplace (my ring, in my case) almost immediately after they discover it. Not once, but twice. In 3 weeks. I will also conclude that I am an idiot and never should be allowed to wear rings unless they are tattooed across my finger.

In response to your questions pertaining to WALL-E, I have caught about 3 movies since I arrived. Sex and the City, Children of Huang-shi (yes, what the…), and what was the latest one? Oh Kungfu Panda. I watched all 3 in solitude. Its fine, no problems there. Nothing I’ve never done before in Michigan. Hah.

P/S: Have you caught WALL-E?

Reply #3

Dear Ms. Hong,

What a wonder! Despite the 10000miles and 11hrs between us, we seem to have a common love-hate relationship for food. I feel I have an affinity with you hence let me share my breakfast tidbits and maybe a possible business proposal with you.

Tiong Bahru (pronounced Ti Orr Ng Ba Ru), is a fabulous 4-storey shopping centre, which had been renovated 4 times and ungoing the 5^th, and is a stone’s throw away from my residence. And my office is also a pebble’s throw away from my Tiong Bahru. So if you can count, which I think you sure do; my sharp senses had led me to notice how you are The Venetian’s Revenue Analyst; my HDB flat (the typical Singaporean residence) is 1 stone + 1 pebble’s throw away, not very far, maybe as far as where your 16-storey office garage is from your office. Do not feel the least jealous, it is equally excruciating to reveal to my colleagues where I live, for they groan in envy as if I had just committed the most hideous crime. Singapore is small, no doubt, as compared to Nevada, but waking up early is a universal chore to any sane being, so I considered lying to others that I live at Woodlands (pronounced wood-learns), a place furthest north of Singapore, a number of times.

So this morning I had breakfast from a renowned breakfast food-chain we have here, Ah KUN (pronounced ah kwoon) at Tiong Bahru. Ah Kun was made famous by their Kaya toast, which is UTTERLY UNLIKE the French toast which I think you are more familiar with in the US. Pardon my caps, I do not detest French Toast; just to emphasize Kaya Toast’s uniqueness. It’s just my Asian patriotism maybe? Anyway Kaya is a sweet coconut and egg jam which is often spread over toasted bread. But Ah Kun also has a sugar-butter toast which I drool over most of the time; basically it’s made by slapping huge slabs of butter and sprinkling generous amounts of sugar on toasted bread. When ordering, I try to switch myself into cholesterol-dementia mode and wish that they add as much sugar as possible. Hence your whole “expanding waistline and over-spilling gut” thingie - I can completely attest to that as well. Ah Kun breakfast sets also include authentic thick coffee or tea (kopi or teh, in our local lingo) and two eggs, half-boiled in perfection. I then add two drops of dark black sauce (I am not sure if you use such condiments in the states but just know it is black, dark and salty, liquid form. Yes.) and slurp them down. SEDUPP (Se-dub) Or SHIOK (Shee-oak) are how we express our satisfaction after ingesting our food. Do you know, Ying, they are so delicious that I had ever considered interning at this well known chain but unfortunately, my expertise lie more in using my hands to type on keyboards than roasting bread on the flat oven. Hence I got turned away - a rejection I took quite hard.

Oh yes I would actually propose for you to open a US franchise for Ah Kun, and in The Venetian for that matter. Noting from your last name, I would presume you are of Asian Descent and I am sure Ah Kun Breakfast Menus would eminently attract the Asian Community there. Boo.

They might have turned me away for a internship position, but I am sure they might seriously be interested in breaking into the Western Market. And with the Chinese renowned to be have gambling traits genetically implanted in their blood, the number of China Chinese visitors in Nevada Casinos would exponentially skyrocket. And although Kaya originates from Southeast Asia, we have many Chinese tourists here in Singapore as well and they feedback positively with regards to this dish. Hence you have a good potential market there, if you think about it. Hence you might want to, in some ‘high-crass’ important board meeting, put this proposal in your revenue-generating agenda. I am sure your fab idea would receive resounding applause and you, be rewarded with a big fat promotion. When that happens, all I ask is for a Concorde plane to come pick me up from Tiong Bahru to Nevada and I would be so excited to judge for myself if that the over-spilling muffin top you so claimed disgusting is that hard to bear.

*I have used Ah Kun to protect the potential client. His recipe might be copyrighted who knows?

Reply #4

Dear Ms. Teo,


What a coincidence! Just as I was sitting down to my dinner in front of my current favorite TV program - Jon & Kate Plus 8, your email popped up.

As far as Ya-kun establishing itself in the U.S. is concerned, as long as Krispy Kremes is still at the hotel foodcourt, I doubt it will stand a chance. But Old Chang Kee... AHHHH, that would be different. I mean, whats the difference? Old Chang Kee is exactly what people would love! The usual diet for the average American consists of fried lard, buttered lard, deep fried fats, and sugared water. And isn't that wad OCK is? Deep fried fishballs, crab claws, spring rolls, and of course the famous curry pok. Mmmm. Plus they even have the breakfast edition of char bee hoon!!!!!!!!!! I may have overlooked telling you that my absolute favorite breakfast meal consists of char-beehoon, egg, yu-bing, and chili. But it is my ULTIMATE first choice. And so you really get it, I'm going to say it again... FAVORITE. AHhhh!!!


Please don't tell people you live in Woodlands. I mean, ifyou are going to say that, you might as well go further and say you live in Malaysia. That's just about the same, isn't it? As for me, I live in the Western part of Las Vegas. It's on Sahara Ave., because you know, they just need to emphasize that we live in the desert. And just to seal the deal, I take Desert Inn Road to work every day. Yes I'm sure I get it now...I live in a friggin desert! On another note, don't you find it weird that all that separates DESERT and DESSERT is just an alphabet, yet they are so different.

So you see, I live about 30mins drive away from the Las Vegas Strip which I'm sure you are pretty familiar with through the media. If you're not, it's where the bling Vegas gets its reputation from. Surprisingly, exactly because I work on the Strip, I hardly get on the Strip. I take the back road to work, and take the same back road home. Avoiding the Strip traffic (and cops) has become my new hobby. The area I live is called The Lakes. It's one of the snazzier areas in town, master planned home associations, Whole Foods market, Pottery Barn and Target are permanent fixtures in this community. I also conclude that I'm never going to save money as long as I live within a 3 mile radius from Target, or Banana Republic, or Pottery Barn. From my home, you can look west to Red Rock Canyon Nature Reserve. It is a gorgeous umm, nature reserve and makes me feel like I'm very outdoorsy. Umm, yes. I just like the FEELING of being outdoorsy, I don't really want to be exactly outdoorsy. But sometimes I overlook the stunning scenary, and when I look up and see the mountains, it is just..pretty darn nice.

Oh well, you just have to see it for yourself! In the meantime, have a happy Thursday!


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