Thursday, June 08, 2006
Salt of the Earth - 9:42 PM
They say we should always invest in beautiful shoes, cos they will lead you to beautiful places... and you will see beautiful things. Hmm.... So, excuse me huh...........but what happens if you have odd-sized feet?!?!?!Like thanks huh, so I think the chance of me seeing beautiful things are like zero to none, since I can never fit into beautiful shoes... *mumble grumble*. For my job on Monday, I have to wear COMFORTABLE SHOES. *rolls eyes*. I forgot to let Patrick the HR Director know, but the words COMFORTABLE, and SHOES don't seem to be able to integrate into one common phrase for me. Comfort = flipflops, SHOES = blisters... is it that hard to understand?
People with feet like mine, my heartfelt condolences to you. I TOTALLY understand. And when I say TOTALLY, you better believe it. Since I was measuring in at 4 feet and below, I've always had problems acquiring shoes. I remember the last minute dashes to Parkway, 2 days before CNY, desperately trying to find a pair of shoes that fit. How many of you have to resort to wearing MEN'S HUSH PUPPY SHOES AT 12? None of you right? Somemore its a big men's size, not a wimpy 7 or 8. No joke, man... Therefore, since I've always had problems buying shoes, I've set up a rule: I will never go back to a store where I've successfully bought a pair. You would think I'm weird, cos since I was able to buy a pair, surely I would be able to buy more... Uh, NO. Its so embarrassing leh!! To go in and say 'Auntie, I want to try that one... no, that one I cannot fit... I think I must wear the men's one...*pai seh*', and STILL DARE TO GO BACK, I rather you shoot me la .. just shoot me..
So, I've always seen shoes as my nemesis, and bear a secret hatred for shoe whores. Can you imagine what goes thru my mind when I watch Sex n the City, with Carrie going thru hordes of shoes even faster than she goes thru men? I bet most of you are thinking 'Darn, I wish I can afford a pair of Monolos'. Guess what? You probably CAN buy your own Monolos one day, when you start work and decide to slap a frivolous $800 on a pair of shoes... but poor me, even if I have that $800 to throw in their face.... I don't have the feet that fits.
SO, CAN YOU ALL UNDERSTAND MY KU XIN??? I see people going to Far East and what not and just slipping off their own sandal and slotting their feet into one of those sample sizes that the stores put out for trying. Me eh, fat hope, until I gu qi alllll my yong qi and chop off my last toe, will I be able to do that.
You laugh eh, but you don't know how wide my feet are. Cheryl knows... I once describe my feet as a FAN to her. You know, not those electric fans, but those shan zi that OPENS UP. sigh... yue kan yue xiang leh, ze meh ban? And you would think coming to the States have improved my bigfoot situation, but ... Well, ok at least I can get shoes, but its still extremely challenging. Cos my feet is beyond wide, so I can wear a size 11, but it will look totally weird cos my feet are like too short for the length of the shoe, PLUS the sides are still bulging out. Weird how the shoes always feel OK at the store, when you take those 3 precocious steps, and den you would think 'ok. COMFORTABLE. BUY.' .... without realising that the blisters and red marks will only start appearing the moment you take the 4th. Sigh. tricky, tricky fellas.
So today, I tried to look for COMFORTABLE SHOES.... which is obviously, as you know, a JOKE and an unsucessful venture, AS ALWAYS... OH wait, before that, another reason why I hate shopping for shoes is cos you have to go in the right footwear (read: flip flops or sandals or anything easy to take off), just so its more convenient. And after that, you have to TOUCH shoes leh. I hate to touch shoes, cos after all, they are the things that are the closest to the ground. All the dust and dirt and salt of the earth is stuck on it can... New shoes, ok not as dirty, but still dirty cos tons of people have tried them on leh, and some have pranced around the store in them to 'test' whether they are comfortable or not... SO yah, I don't like to touch shoes. Somemore hor, eating a packet of street-pengkanged nuts while touching shoes is such a wrong move leh!
Thats why, little children... you should NEVER, EVER put what you touch the ground with INTO YOUR MOUTH... cos it will give you a bout of lao sai. WAHHAHAHAHHA
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So its the NBA finals between the Dallas MAvericks and the Miami Heat. My beloved Pistons, have, unfortunately bowed out of the competition following their defeat by the Heat. I'm afraid I will jinx whoever lehhh... and during the commercial breaks, you know they were making the arty farty inspirational clips.... one that goes,
'Its not about the skill..... but the will....NBA, I love this game'... and shows 2 NBA starts joustling for the stray ball... But plz leh, IT IS ABOUT THE SKILL LOR, what you mean its not about the skill... *rolls eyesballs*