Friday, December 16, 2005
Not your usual Angel - 10:15 PM
Sorry for the lack of updates. I was getting bored with everything cos its Finals week. BAH. My results are getting very shady. WHY LIDDAT HAH. *throw hands in the air* WHO CARES. I can only be bothered so much.I figured I've spent like 80% of my academic career in a daze. It had been a state in which assignments were chucked guilt-free under my desk in Cedar (4th row, beside the one nx to the window. Meishan has the one next to the window. collects ALOT of dust. eei), where tests played second fiddle to other important pursuits such as watching TV dramas and training (HUH? today got test meh? wad test?!), where 20/100 for exams weren't that difficult to score afterall, and where requests for my parents to meet my teachers and personal invites to the Principal's office weren't exactly uncommon. How I managed to survive past A levels without dropping outta school and dropping outta life itself is quite amazing, I think.
On my report cards, teachers never fail to note the same thing: Popular with classmates, but needs to work harder. Sec 1-4, SAME. Different teachers, same comments. Maybe they gossip behind our backs. oh wait. WHAT MAYBE, is CONFIRM lor! Teachers gossip alot u know. I remember that time in Cedar I was walking along the corridor when I overheard 2 young female teachers gossiping as they pass each other at the stairwell. 'Oh u know that blah blah blah...' 'YAH YAH i also heard that....she's very what what what...' Oh, sorry for I have digressed. Back to uh-hum... ME.
Thankfully, I've been blessed with different people who were always there at the right time to guide me. I guess that explains why I managed to stay on the right track. I used to think 'AIYAH. they never even helped me. It was I who helped myself.... I am smart enuff just to study A LITTLE BIT (and trust me when i say A LITTLE bit, i really mean A LITTLE) and pass...' Basically, it was like : GOOD THINGS, its ALL cos of ME ME ME. bad things: erh.. cos the teacher sucks lor dunno how to teach, cos weather very bad lor make me sick the day I had to take exam etc.'
Now I think back, boy oh boy....was I arrogant. If only I could, I would hit 'myself' across the head from behind. And now I start to return the credentials to rightful owners who even till today, continue to help those in need. Those young spirits they have helped revived have since moved on with their lives, often without much gratitude, going on to college and hopefully, great things...
But they, the people who are only honoured on the 1st of September each yr and repeatedly trashed (behind their backs of cos) the other 364 days of the calender are still there at the same spot where they dropped off their last charge, their guiding light ready for whoever who needs it, not necessarily to whoever deserves it. I call them my plains-clothed guardian angels who never fail to rescue me from the brink of surrendering. Thats why sometimes I think I'm lucky to have chosen VJC, where teachers really work at it with you instead of dumping all that crap on you and expecting you would work it out since 'you managed to get into a top 5 jc wadddd'. (but of cos, occasionally you DO get the kanasai one. like the YR 1 MATH ONE. terrible. she was pyscho-ing our entire class to drop math cos we suck at it! LIKE HARLOWwww, i only have 3 subjects left lor. if i drop math i might as well drop out of school!)
Friends who have gone thru that phase with me... I especially remember. In Cedar, it was the keeper-of-my-notes MEISHAN who would painstakingly file my notes, clear my table and remind me of the homework and junk we have to do. If not for her, I think I would have had to repeat Sec. 3 la. I remember Mrs Chew saying she wanted to check our E Maths homework, and me, being Hong Ruoying who never bothers with homework (remember 'huh? what homework got homework meh?), I would grab Meishan's to copy and would be done by the time Mrs Chew made it to our row. She would just glance at my hastily scratched writing and go 'mmm' and move on. Its no wonder I can speed write. Oh, I didn't say anything abt legible handwriting though.. SO you see children... Practice makes perfect! SIgh, if only I can apply the same logic to my other subjects.
In VJ, people like Cheryl Tan, I see almost everyday, EVERY hour in school cos 1) we both dropped Lit so we hang out in the library together, 2) we both take Chinese, 3) we're both in Track so we have the same training time though we do different stuff, 4) WE'RE IN ALL THE SAME REMEDIALS meaning Math Econ and Geog! Of cos, how can I forget Cherie. SHellen's abit too zai. We're in a whole league by ourselves man! Andrea taught me Geog just before we scrambled for prelims. HUR HUR. All appreciated, all's good.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is.......Actually I don't think I have a point. oh wait I do I do! What I wanna say is internal attributions can only bring you so far, the rest of it, you need the occasional luck to meet someone who can lend a hand in uplifting your position/spirits wadeva. ok so having said that, I'm up for adoption. Which kind hearted angel wants me?